'Shun extravagant weddings as girl's family suffers due to financial burden'

Faizan Ahmed Khan

NewsBits.in

The anti-dowry campaigner Aleem Khan Falaki has given a call to boycott the extravant marriages as they affect the brides' families, financially, and often forces families to into debt.

He says that the trend to have more and more rituals, turning the events opulent and expensive, hurts the girls' families and such are the consequences that many families are unable to get out of the debt trap. 

Falaki, a campaigner against dowry and extravagant marriages, has said that huge burden on the bride's family due to the trend of lavish weddings and dowry takes its toll on entire family, as each marriage makes it difficult for bride's family to sustain after the event.

The parents of the girl have to take loan and the consequences are such that it takes years and their financial condition gets damaged to such an extent that they have to curtail their own genuine needs apart from selling own property or house to bear expenses of the expensive wedding functions.

"A large sum goes into the event that has multiple ceremonies, food and the cost of the lawn or hall where the function is held. The dowry is another issue and there is jewellery apart from household goods and all these expenses go past a million and even more", said Falaki, in a lecture organized under the aegis of CSRE in Nagpur, Maharashtra.

The Hyderabad-based social activist said that the marriages should be solemnized without any extravagance. He said that unnecessary rituals and ceremonies have been added in recent years and this leads to the cost of marriage going up, year after year. 

Along with this, hosting the large number of groom's relatives and acquaitances and providing them dinner, is improper and a big burden on the girl's parents. Falaki said that the biggest irony is that when the women from the groom's side too expect lavish wedding and expect jewellery or goods in the form of dowry, though they are aware that it takes its toll on the bride's family.

The groom's sisters, cousins, mother, aunts and other women relatives are well aware of the situation but they don't protest against this evil though it affects everyone. "There is no solution until the masses get aware. They must not give legitimacy to such social evils that cause huge damage to entire society", he said. 

Falaki's organisation has been involved in creating awareness about the undue expenses in weddings in the country. He is more active in South India, especially, Telangana, Andhra and other states of the Southern region. Holding events to create awareness in this regard for many years, his organization has succeeded in convincing thousands of families to shun dowry and make the wedding, simple and without any extravagance.

Continuing with his speech, he said that as long as there is a social acceptance for such practices, no effort to shun these gatherings and people don’t refuse invitations for such marriages where girl’s family has to bear cost of the feast, there can’t be a real change on the ground. Year after year, families continue to suffer as financial impact is huge.

“Why should someone take so many people along with himself to eat at the expense of others?” That’s pettiness and true shamelessness, he added. Falaki suggested that the money should be used to help the groom and bride in setting up their business, rather than wasting such a big amount on needless rituals and extravagance. 

[Faizan Ahmed Khan covers social issues, keeps eye on emerging trends on the ground and politics. He reports from Nagpur]